He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
