I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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