it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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