So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
