UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sorry my hands just texted you
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Terrible idea I love it
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
