oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
