Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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