I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
