If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
