So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
