I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
