we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
