Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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