The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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