pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize