haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
