I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
