There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
