Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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