I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
