everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My pussy is not your playground.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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