do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
