Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
