peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ketchup is God's man juice
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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