Just cropdusted the office
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize