youre lurking in front of me
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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