my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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