So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
