i just identified you from a description of your pipe
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
