It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
