I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
