I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
