Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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