she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
