There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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