No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
tell me about the eggs
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
