I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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