Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
