I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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