Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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