I'm drive I can fine osifer
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
