This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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