Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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