Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
That accounts for only three of the penises
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Terrible idea I love it
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
