I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
