so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
