And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
