she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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