wat bout pragnant strippers??
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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