at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
