so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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