Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
