i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
