I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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