Porn is love you can see.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
