Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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