will power is for people who don't want to get laid
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize