Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
