oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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