I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
