singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Less talking, more tequila
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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