Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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