Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so that wasnt chicken after all
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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