your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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