I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
